Heartache

Not too long ago, I wrote a post about “The Courage to Love,” and how much power one has to bring upon herself to love someone else.  What I forgot to mention was also how much power one must have to love herself. This isn’t much easier.

It is all too easy to lose yourself in something or, especially, someone. Love is a powerful thing. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that you shouldn’t give it all away. You shouldn’t lose yourself in love.

When I think about who I want to become, it always seems a little bit better to see someone else by my side. My future endeavors seem that much more bearable when I think about the person I get to walk with, hand in hand, step by step. The sight is comforting to both, heart and mind—which never seem to agree.

But what hurts the most is when that picture isn’t perfect in the present, and if you don’t already know, it never truly is.

“Love is a battlefield,” they say.

My biggest problem is finding the perfect balance between loving myself and loving him. This isn’t a fair fight. Not when you are hardly twenty and your life is just about to begin. Who do I put first?

Me, of course.

That being said, loving yourself is harder than it looks.

Thanks for reading,

Yin

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