I Want More

Lately, through my endeavors in college, I have been considering rearing away from pre-medical studies. This thinking has consumed me, because, as we all know, I am one to overthink everything and make things seem much more dramatic than they truly are. I’ve heard the, “oh you’ll change your major at least once before you figure out what you really want to do,” and I am not doubting that a bit. But after all my consideration thus far, I think about the path I want to take in life, and I think this might be it. I want to go to medical school.

What I have realized this past year is that the pre-requisites for medical school are hard. Hard because of the material, the rigorous work, and (not to mention) the way big universities try to “weed out” the weak. I would be lying if I said aspiring to be a doctor was easy—I don’t think anyone has ever described it as “easy.” If anything, it is one of the more difficult paths that takes much much more than solely intelligence, work ethic, or pure ability.

But the more I think about my life and my future, I constantly find myself wanting more, and that is more. At least it is for me.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to call it quits. I’ll be honest with you, every single lab report I wrote in chemistry could have been titled “Experiment ###: How Much More Can I Take?” Because after every single lab—every grueling TA-run unorganized three hours—I wanted to call it quits. I am overwhelmed. It is freaking hard.

I would think to myself…I could choose an easier path. I could simply obtain a bachelor’s degree and live my life. Forget Organic Chemistry or Calculus. I could find my way around them, and I’d turn out all right. Hell, there are pretty okay jobs out there that don’t even require a four year degree. The “C’s get degrees” mentality is one I have always wished I could have. But, in all honesty, that’s just not enough for me.

When I think about my classes, yeah, I know they are difficult. But how bored would I be if they weren’t? How good is obtaining a goal that I knew I could achieve from the very beginning?

Mark my words, please don’t read take the impression that I am extremely conceited and full of myself. In no way do I mean that I am just incredibly smart and getting a bachelor’s degree is a piece of cake—I know for a fact that it is much harder than it looks, and I’m just an average joe kid from southeastern KY. (And by all means, I’m only in my first year, so I could totally be talking out my butt and flunk the next three years …) I definitely do not think I am “better” than anyone because of what I think I can endure or because of my view on life.

What I am saying is that, in my mind, this is something that I am confident that I can do…so why not go further? Why not do more? What is the point of setting a goal that you know you will achieve? Why stop there?

Why not go through a pre-med track? Why not go to medical school? Why not try for my dream job?

Of course, it will be challenging. But I believe that any dream is challenging—not just mine. What we have to keep reminding ourselves is that challenging is also possibleThat, I believe, is what motivates us to continue.

When I imagine my life in the future, I can’t imagine not trying to go for what’s next. I can’t imagine having the opportunity to keep going and to just turn it down. Not just in education, but in everything. For example, I can’t imagine never pushing myself to be a better student, or (eventually) co-worker, or wife, or mother…

While I am known for being too hard on myself, I just don’t think I could be any other way. Of course, when all is said and done, there are things that we simply cannot control and must accept. That is a life lesson that I am still learning to this day. But in the midst of what I can control, I think I’m going to try to do my very best.

I want more from the world than what is given to me, and I am going to do my damnedest to get my fair share of it.

Thanks for reading,

Yin

Any thoughts? Leave them in the comments below because I would love to hear them! I was inspired to write this after having a lengthy conversation about the future with my cousin. It’s 6AM, so I might be rambling on. I am still growing as a writer, and would love any input. Thanks again!

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4 thoughts on “I Want More

  1. Yin, this attitude of wanting to excel, this intrinsic motivation of yours is the reason why every one of your HS teachers adored having you in class. Keep pushing yourself and climbing higher. It might not be easy, but you will get there and it will be worth it.

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