Hi readers. I want to first start off with a warning. I don’t usually like to blog deeply personal material because I’m not much into “PDA” (public displays of affection). It’s not really my thing; not because I am incapable of affection, but because I have been culturally taught to not display these kinds of feelings. It’s an Asian thing, I suppose.
Anyhow, I have been with Eric for almost two years. It’s a pretty weird feeling, especially considering we went to high school together and never said more than two words to each other. We have definitely gotten to know each other (maybe a little more than we anticipated at first).
What I am just now realizing is that I have been with him almost every day for the past year or so, and that terrifies me. I am what they say, “securely attached,” and that’s an incredibly scary feeling. I am at the point where I’m not sure if I could be without him…
Of course, I know I can be without him. But in all honesty, I just don’t think want to be.
From what I’ve learned as a psychology major so far is that humans are uniquely a sociable species. We cannot live alone, hence the reason why our foundations are so heavily built upon society. We rely upon each other from day one until the end—not many species really do that.
From a personal perspective, being alone is one of the worst feelings in the world. There is nothing more haunting than be alone—whether physically or emotionally. I believe that we rely on others to bounce off of. We need others for support, constantly.
So as I gather more thinking into this thought, I just think of how brave we are, as a species, to be this way.
One would think, “Oh…living on your own is really brave.” I mean, there are some species that are thrown into life without the help of moms, dads, siblings, friends, or even boyfriends for that matter. That seems pretty scary.
But, I am thinking in new light. I feel as if relying on someone else takes even more courage. To rely on someone, to be with someone, to support someone, to love someone…now, that takes a lot of gut. To want to do this is even scarier; to put yourself whole-heartedly in the arms of someone else as your life depends on it. How terrifying…
I guess that’s just my thought for today. It takes a lot of courage to love.
Thanks for reading,