Controlling A Control Freak

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By now, I’ve really learned to take things day by day.

If anyone knows me, they know that this is something I struggle with. I am that girl that plans ahead, prepares for the worst, always has a back up, and freaks out in the midst of chaos. Yep, that’s me; I’m a control freak.

But unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. I don’t get to be in control of everything. As much as I would love to always be on top of things…frankly, it’s impossible. No matter how many lists I make, or how many planners I write in, or how many back ups I put in the back of my car—life has no guarantees.

Thankfully, I am learning to take a step back, and gain “control” of my control freak self (See what I did there?). I am learning how to breathe, how to not let petty things get the best of me, and how to worry much much less. This will probably take years and years of practice, but the first step is: admitting you have a problem.

So here are ELEVEN things that suggest you are a control freak (from experience):

1. You have more than one planner because you are addicted to planning.

Currently, I have: a school planner, a monthly calendar, and a Google calendar synced with my calendar on my laptop. That’s not so bad is it? When I have an event in mind, it gets put into these four places. I know that it seems like a waste of time, and I can maybe agree with that point…but honestly, I have NO idea where I am in life if one of these is missing something.

I also always have the tendency to buy more planners, and have to stop myself. I avoid OfficeDepot and the school supplies section at the store. I will buy anything that looks pretty and looks organized, I promise.

2. You have lists EVERYWHERE.

The last step of my to-do list…is pretty much: write the next to-do list. Because lists are the absolutebest. things. ever. 

I have weekly to-do lists for my homework. I have lists of chores to do around the house. I have  lists for things I need to buy. I have lists for classes for the next four years of college. I even have a to-do list for my entire life. Heck, I’m blogging a list right now. Maybe these lists are getting out of hand…

3. You “literally just can’t”(cue white girl) when things go wrong.

When things don’t go as planned, THERE IS NO POINT IN ANYTHING.

This is my biggest pet peeve, and biggest thing I need to learn to deal with. Because things go wrong, all the time (even though they SHOULDN’T). Ugh, I can’t even write about this.

4. You don’t like change.

Why change things when they are perfect the way they are? Why do things have to change?

Of course, there are several answers to that question—but I usually never like them.

5. You always have a back up plan, for every situation ever.

You would be surprised at all the emergency things I have in my apartment. I have a whole tub full of supplies in case we run out of food, water, heat…pretty much anything (zombie apocalypse?). I have enough supplies in my car to live out of it for a few days if needed. I back anything and everything up on a flash drive. I make two possible dates for anything I plan. I always have more than I need, and I always do more than I should.

6. You can barely trust anyone.

I really hate group projects—even though, I am friendly and they, for the most part, work out pretty well. Trust is a huge issue for me because I don’t like to be let down (because I can’t stand for things to not go as planned). I find myself doing a lot of unnecessary things because I have a hard time trusting others to do them correctly, or the way I want it to be done.

This really sucks because it pretty much makes you seem cold and unsociable—which I don’t like to be at all. I just have in my head a way for how things should be, and I will do whatever it takes to make it that way.

7. You are the worst for road rage.

This may be because I am from a very small town and have recently moved to a more populous city, but my goodness, I have the worst road rage ever. I think 20% of my thoughts while driving are “Are you serious?” I hate it when cars don’t follow the road lines or seem to have no understanding of the speed limit.

I am also the world’s worst for backseat driving. This is why I always drive when Eric and I go out—he can’t stand me telling him how to drive!

8. You hate chaos in any form.

I do my absolute best, best, BEST to avoid crowded areas. I don’t like them. They make me uncomfortable. They make me irritable. They make me nervous. I don’t like them. Complete “nope” from me.

Here’s to a life avoiding rush-hours, black friday sales, or huge events in small venues!

9. Cleaning/organizing is your favorite hobby.

Don’t you just LOVE clean things? I love it when my surroundings are clean. Everything should have a home of its own—and it should pretty much stay there until its needed, right?

If I could organize things for a living, I would do it in a heartbeat. (If you need things organized, give me a call!) I sometimes even find myself organizing things for other people…whoops.

10. You have to have a reason for everything.

Why? Why should we do that? Why should I do this? Why should it be done that way? Why can’t I do this? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?

If there’s not a reason for its purpose, then what is the point?

11. When you are not in control, you are not okay.

THIS is when things need to change. THIS is when you need to learn to take a breath, step away, and remember that you will survive. This is my mantra when things go wrong, or when life throws lemons right at my face. I will survive this. And I know I will, so I will let things just be.

Thanks for reading,

Yin

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2 thoughts on “Controlling A Control Freak

  1. I can totally relate. I organize and make lists to relax. Once I knew this about myself I had to learn to let go sometimes. I cannot always be in control and it has been ok. Good for me actually to give up some control. I admit I probably wrote give up control on some list just to make sure I would do it. Have a great day. Veronica

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