As I sit here alone on Valentine’s Day, I find it hard to remember the love in my life. I think that’s what happens when we get caught up in our fantasies sometimes. We look too far into the details, and we forget the big picture. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a great deal of time before we are able to zoom out of this perspective.
I spent my day alone today. Although I had great plans for today, the days are never promised as we always hope them to be.
The story is that I am just bombarded with work. I have enough homework to pile sheets of paper to my knees, and I have finally got the bulk of it completed. Notice how the clock strikes 1am as I am writing. No Valentine’s Day for me.
Eric decided to go home this weekend to purchase a new toy—a motorcycle. I’m not too particularly excited about it, but I suppose it may be because of his high today in comparison to my very very low. New toys beat piles of homework in every way possible, and sometimes it just sucks to see other people happy when you’ve had a terrible day.
Anyhow, so I’ve locked myself in my room for the past 24+ hours writing paper after paper with the occasional glance at social media to see all the wonderful “selfies” couples have posted on their days out. Then, I became incredibly sad.
I spent the day going back and forth between homework and being incredibly sad. It’s wasn’t fun, and I truly don’t recommend that for anyone.
Now after all work has laid to rest (until tomorrow), I’ve come to the realization, that I’ve done it to myself. Other peoples’ happiness did not cause my sadness, and they are not ones to blame. I am perfectly loved by a great guy, who, in fact, showered me with a monument’s amount of plush—a six foot teddy bear. I am perfectly loved by my family and my friends who could not be here physically for me today. The only reason I was filled with sadness was because I didn’t acknowledge that factor all day.
When they say it’s all about “attitude,” I’m finally starting to believe them. I do not wish to start another day like today again, although I am sure they are far too easy to come across.
I think Valentine’s Day should be more about remembering we are loved, rather than trying to show our love. It would make things much easier. Love is just not an easy thing to comprehend and make noticeable, at least not in the way that we would like for it to. It would also make for days like these to be more enjoyable, and less melancholy for sure.
I hope you all have had an amazing Valentine’s Day, and hope that you all remembered that you are loved in some way or another. Please cherish that and never take it for granted.
Thanks for reading,